One Liners
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The trouble with political jokes is - they get elected.

If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.

If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you have it made.

I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.

The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.

GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.

EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.

FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.

The trouble with life is that you're half-way through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

Death is life's way of telling you - you're fired!

Save Water. Take a bath with your neighbor's wife!

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes!

Husbands are proof that women have a sense of humor.

Not all men are fools...some are bachelors.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

"Children are natural mimic who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners."

Spouse, n.: "Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single."

 

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