Signs u r outta collage
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The First Realizations That You're Not In College Anymore

* You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.

* Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.

* College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.

* Your parents charge rent.

* The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, chips and cereal.

* It's 'getting late' when it's 9:30 p.m.

* Three words:  Student Loan Payments.

* You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that dream Porsche.

* You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively.

* THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans, and tonsil hockey;  NOW:  mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans.

* Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

* Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.

* Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'.

* Your salary is less than your tuition.

* Your potted plants stay alive.

* Having sex in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.

* You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

* You have to pay your own credit card bill.

* Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.

* You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.

* You have to file for your own taxes.

* You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.

* You're not carded anymore.

* You carry an umbrella.

* You learn that "Bachelor" is nicer term for a jackass.

* "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary,which is a little less than your allowance used to be.

* "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid and not married.

* Your friends marry instead of hook-up; and divorce instead of break-up.

* You start watching the weather channel.

* Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.

* You can no longer do shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.

* You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

* You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.

* You go to parties that the police don't raid.

* Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.

* You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.

* Your car insurance goes down.

* You refer to college students as kids.

* You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum.

* Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.

* You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.

* Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

* Pregnancy now brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries.

* The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.

* The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship.

* You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News.

* You wear more ties in a week than you even owned while in college.

* You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.

* You empathize with the characters from 'Friends.'

* METABOLISM SLOWDOWN

* Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.

* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

* Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.

* When drinking, you say at least once per night,  "I just can't put it down the same way as I used to.'

* Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work, not video games.

* You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's not full of '21-year-old kids.'

* Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.

 

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